Post by Godfather on Mar 20, 2008 6:36:45 GMT -5
What is Abuse?
All forms of abuse are serious, whether it is emotional, financial, sexual or physical. Abuse may escalate. It may start with emotional abuse and over months or years the abuser may become physically, sexually or financially abusive. Many, many people experience abuse during their lifetime. You deserve to live your life free from abuse of any kind. Abuse is not your fault!
When we look at an abusive relationship, one of the patterns we see is that one person is almost always the perpetrator of the abuse, and the one with more power in the relationship. The other person, who has less power, is usually the one who is hurt, either emotionally, physically, sexually, or financially. This doesn't mean that the perpetrator always begins the argument, initiates the sexual act, or arranges the financial situation. Even it you were the first one to use insults in a fight or to initiate sex, if the pattern of behavior over time shows that you almost always are the one who ends up getting hurt, and if you consistently have less power in the relationship, we can say that there is a pattern of abuse.
Your abuser may be your ex-or current husband, boyfriend, girlfriend, or partner, or your adult child, caregiver or parent. Abuse happens to teenagers in dating relationships, older people, gay, lesbian, bisexual, or trans people, people who are disabled, and people from all racial, cultural, and religious backgrounds.
Abuse comes in many forms; it is not just physical. Sometimes people think they haven't been abused because they were never hit or seriously injured. What we know is that abuse happens in many more ways than just physical assaults, and that all forms of abuse are scary, painful, and shaming.
The following is list of some kinds of abuse. The purpose of this list is to help you identify what kinds of abuse you might have experienced.
Emotional Abuse
Emotional abuse includes all kinds of hurtful behaviors, words, and actions designed to scare, manipulate, intimidate, threaten, isolate and destabilize the one with less power in the relationship. Emotional abuse is very hurtful; many women who have been abused say that the emotional abuse is even more damaging and harder to heal from than physical abuse. Emotional abuse includes:
Threats of suicide or violence. Controlling all your activities.
Forcing you to do degrading things. Frightening you.
Constantly attacking your self-esteem. Throwing things at or near you.
Destroying your property. Hurting pets.
Punching walls next to your head. Not letting you get a license or drive.
Threats to take or hurt children. Not letting you have food, medication, sleep.
Limiting your contact with friends and family. Not allowed you to have devices such as wheelchairs, hearing aids, cane, or TDD machines.
Telling you that it's your duty to God, your family, your children, or you community not to leave. Threats to tell friends/family lies or personal things about you.
If your partner is the same gender as you, emotional abuse may also include:
Threatening to tell family, friends and employers about your sexual orientation.
Threatening to find you in shelter.
Telling you that if you try to leave you may lose your children because of your sexual orientation.
Telling you that if you try to tell others about the abuse no one will believe you.
Telling you that you are sick or crazy.
If your citizenship or immigration status is not stable, your abuse might include threatening to turn you into the INS or have you deported, or promising to marry you and never following through.
Your abuse might also include insults about your race, your age, your physical or mental abilities, your religious beliefs, your culture.
Financial Abuse
Financial abuse includes behaviors such as:
Not letting you work. Getting you evicted.
Taking your paycheck. Ruining your credit.
Stealing your bank cards or credit cards. Making you buy things you can't afford.
Taking your SSI, SSD, savings, or retirement. Having his/her name on all your property such as houses, cars, mobile homes, or apartments.
Controlling all the money.
Sexual Abuse
Sexual abuse can mean:
Forcing you to have sex after being hurt either physically or emotionally. Forcing you into prostitution.
Forcing you to have sexual relations with other people. Rape.
Forcing you to participate in any sexual act in which you are not comfortable. Forcing you to look at pornography.
Refusing to share information about past sexual history, or sexually transmitted diseases. Refusing to use condoms.
Knowingly infecting you with various sexually transmitted diseases including HIV and hepatitis. Forcing you to/not letting you use birth control.
Forcing you to act or pose for pornography. Forcing you into or not allowing an abortion.
Attacking your breasts, genital, or anal area.
Physical Abuse
Physical abuse includes all kinds of physical action done by the partner with more power with the intent of hurting or scaring the partner with less power. Even behaviors like pinching, tickling or hair pulling can be abuse if they are done with the intent to control the other partner. Physical abuse often starts during pregnancy. Some abusers "target" their physical abuse to their partner's stomach, buttocks, breasts or genital areas so that the injuries are harder for other people to see.
Choking or strangling. Burning.
Holding you down. Pushing.
Kicking. Trapping you with his/her body.
Stabbing. Murder.
If you have been there, lets talk about it here, please, you can use an asumed name, trust me, you are safe here.
All forms of abuse are serious, whether it is emotional, financial, sexual or physical. Abuse may escalate. It may start with emotional abuse and over months or years the abuser may become physically, sexually or financially abusive. Many, many people experience abuse during their lifetime. You deserve to live your life free from abuse of any kind. Abuse is not your fault!
When we look at an abusive relationship, one of the patterns we see is that one person is almost always the perpetrator of the abuse, and the one with more power in the relationship. The other person, who has less power, is usually the one who is hurt, either emotionally, physically, sexually, or financially. This doesn't mean that the perpetrator always begins the argument, initiates the sexual act, or arranges the financial situation. Even it you were the first one to use insults in a fight or to initiate sex, if the pattern of behavior over time shows that you almost always are the one who ends up getting hurt, and if you consistently have less power in the relationship, we can say that there is a pattern of abuse.
Your abuser may be your ex-or current husband, boyfriend, girlfriend, or partner, or your adult child, caregiver or parent. Abuse happens to teenagers in dating relationships, older people, gay, lesbian, bisexual, or trans people, people who are disabled, and people from all racial, cultural, and religious backgrounds.
Abuse comes in many forms; it is not just physical. Sometimes people think they haven't been abused because they were never hit or seriously injured. What we know is that abuse happens in many more ways than just physical assaults, and that all forms of abuse are scary, painful, and shaming.
The following is list of some kinds of abuse. The purpose of this list is to help you identify what kinds of abuse you might have experienced.
Emotional Abuse
Emotional abuse includes all kinds of hurtful behaviors, words, and actions designed to scare, manipulate, intimidate, threaten, isolate and destabilize the one with less power in the relationship. Emotional abuse is very hurtful; many women who have been abused say that the emotional abuse is even more damaging and harder to heal from than physical abuse. Emotional abuse includes:
Threats of suicide or violence. Controlling all your activities.
Forcing you to do degrading things. Frightening you.
Constantly attacking your self-esteem. Throwing things at or near you.
Destroying your property. Hurting pets.
Punching walls next to your head. Not letting you get a license or drive.
Threats to take or hurt children. Not letting you have food, medication, sleep.
Limiting your contact with friends and family. Not allowed you to have devices such as wheelchairs, hearing aids, cane, or TDD machines.
Telling you that it's your duty to God, your family, your children, or you community not to leave. Threats to tell friends/family lies or personal things about you.
If your partner is the same gender as you, emotional abuse may also include:
Threatening to tell family, friends and employers about your sexual orientation.
Threatening to find you in shelter.
Telling you that if you try to leave you may lose your children because of your sexual orientation.
Telling you that if you try to tell others about the abuse no one will believe you.
Telling you that you are sick or crazy.
If your citizenship or immigration status is not stable, your abuse might include threatening to turn you into the INS or have you deported, or promising to marry you and never following through.
Your abuse might also include insults about your race, your age, your physical or mental abilities, your religious beliefs, your culture.
Financial Abuse
Financial abuse includes behaviors such as:
Not letting you work. Getting you evicted.
Taking your paycheck. Ruining your credit.
Stealing your bank cards or credit cards. Making you buy things you can't afford.
Taking your SSI, SSD, savings, or retirement. Having his/her name on all your property such as houses, cars, mobile homes, or apartments.
Controlling all the money.
Sexual Abuse
Sexual abuse can mean:
Forcing you to have sex after being hurt either physically or emotionally. Forcing you into prostitution.
Forcing you to have sexual relations with other people. Rape.
Forcing you to participate in any sexual act in which you are not comfortable. Forcing you to look at pornography.
Refusing to share information about past sexual history, or sexually transmitted diseases. Refusing to use condoms.
Knowingly infecting you with various sexually transmitted diseases including HIV and hepatitis. Forcing you to/not letting you use birth control.
Forcing you to act or pose for pornography. Forcing you into or not allowing an abortion.
Attacking your breasts, genital, or anal area.
Physical Abuse
Physical abuse includes all kinds of physical action done by the partner with more power with the intent of hurting or scaring the partner with less power. Even behaviors like pinching, tickling or hair pulling can be abuse if they are done with the intent to control the other partner. Physical abuse often starts during pregnancy. Some abusers "target" their physical abuse to their partner's stomach, buttocks, breasts or genital areas so that the injuries are harder for other people to see.
Choking or strangling. Burning.
Holding you down. Pushing.
Kicking. Trapping you with his/her body.
Stabbing. Murder.
If you have been there, lets talk about it here, please, you can use an asumed name, trust me, you are safe here.